Personal issue here, hoping to vent my frustrations.
My boyfriend of two years informed me that he wasn’t sure he wanted to be with me anymore. We talked about it a lot, but still haven’t reached any conclusion. We discussed options I now realize I would never be comfortable doing (in-exclusive, much less time together) because we have been best friends and held a very close and symbiotic relationship for the last two years and I don’t think I can go back. Of course, I would be willing to compromise on many things, but I feel really hurt that he didn’t even ask for this before now. We came out of it saying we wouldn’t talk about it for a week or so and leave each other to think particularly because he has an inordinate amount of schoolwork this week.
So, I’m very hurt that he just came out and said he isn’t sure he wants to be with me especially in the manner he did. A drunken fight – trying to storm out without talking to me about it. Yeah.
I’m in limbo right now, and have been trying to build up the courage to break it off with him. I know I can’t let someone treat me like this, and ‘I’m not sure’ means ‘ I want to break up but don’t have the balls’. I know that, but I am really between a rock and a hard place.
I’ve been thinking positive thoughts about how great it will be being single, I’ve made a list of all the bad things about him, and how I can find someone better in the future, and how we would never have worked anyway, and just when I feel empowered and feel like I am ready to break out of this limbo right now – I get overwhelmed by my feelings of love and adoration about him.
No matter what I tell myself to think and believe about the situation – I still think he’s fantastic and that I want to keep being with him – maybe forever. So, I can’t do it. I literally have a list of imperfections in my hand but somehow I still think that he’s perfect. I’m really, really in love.